Tuesday, January 31, 2006

A lopsided smile in chaotic times

from the CathWorker listserv this morning, credited from New Orleans Voices for Peace [warning: satire ahead]:

GOVERNMENT RAIDS CATHOLIC WORKER HOUSES!
THIS JUST OUT!!

The Government has just announced raids on Catholic Worker communities around the country. Allies in the Coalition of the Damned carried out simultaneous raids on Catholic Worker houses in other countries.

Troops searching for Weapons of Mass Compassion have thus far been unable to find convincing evidence. Altho they alleged that vast quantities of warm blankets, sweaters, woolen socks and heavy coats were being stockpiled, they have not been found. Captured Catholic Workers claimed that they were all given to the poor, asserting that "Winter is starting". However, interrogators also elicited claims about so-called Global Warming from some of the Catholic Workers, which flatly contradicts assertions about the so-called onset of Winter.

Chemical weapons investigators have found significant quantities of powdered milk in most of the Catholic Worker "soup kitchens". Scientific reports indicate that powdered milk can be used to ruin coffee.

The search continues for the elusive and secretive Leader of the Catholic Worker movement. After the death of Founder Peter Maurin in 1949, a woman fronted as the leader of the group until her death in 1980. Investigators assume that Maurin's successor was some shadowy Jesuit agent -- or, at this point, 56 years later, some number of Secret Leaders, but have not been able to identify any of them. Government spokesmen explained that such a close-knit, coordinated organization obviously has a strong central leadership structure, and they will "root him out!"

Pass it on! :-)

Stephen J Spiro

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2 comments:

Mimi said...

Tee hee.

(Love the warning)

Terrence Berres said...

In other satire, their site has a page announcing "In twenty days Cindy Sheehan will be bringing her protest to Houston. This time she will be targeting Barbara Bush."